The Forest

I am walking in the dark. Not in a dark room where I feel safe by the comfort of walls and a door, but in a dark forest. A dark forest where there are wild animals rustling around and voices in the distance shouting things to me that make me feel afraid.  The darkness suffocates me.  The inner child in me rises; I want to sit down and just sob and wait for my parents to come find me.  I am overcome with fear. I feel paralyzed.  How can I be NOT afraid when I can’t see anything ahead? How am I supposed to be NOT afraid when there are wild things all around me threatening my life?  How am I supposed to be NOT afraid when there are voices shouting words of hate and doubt and fear? 

I sit and cry.  I sit and wait.

I feel a hand on my shoulder.  I still can’t see a thing, but I feel this hand slowly and so gently wrap around my hand.  I can tell this hand is big and strong.  It is a hand that has the rough calluses of someone who has been through a lot, but it is also so gentle that I can feel love pour through. 

This hand slowly takes mine into his.

I suddenly feel safe. 

I cannot see one step ahead of me, but my heart starts to slow down again and peace wraps around me like a blanket.  I am being led by someone who understands the rough path ahead but who leads me with gentleness and love.  I don’t know why exactly, but I do know I can trust this guide.

I still cannot see.  It is so dark I can’t even see my own hand.  I cannot see one step ahead of me.  It is so dark.

I still hear the things threatening my life.  Wild things rustle and growl. Is that a snake rattle? I cannot be sure.

I still hear the shouts being yelled at me.  The voices are angry. The voices want to make me afraid. They shout and curse.

But I feel the hand squeeze mine. It isn't letting go. It guides me with love and certainty. I am being lead through all the things surrounding me by someone who seems to know the way, someone who is not deterred by the dangers around us, someone who seems to have been here before, and for some reason I cannot yet conclude...this person seems to love me.  The darkness, the dangers, the voices around have not dissipated….but I feel different. The fears inside me start to calm.  The voices seem to get quieter and fade away.  I feel safe now. Because of the person walking with me, guiding me; gentle, loving, kind, he shows me the way.

I feel safe. 

I am safe.

I hear my guide is saying something.  It is quiet.  I lean in to try to hear it over the other voices. The other voices yelling at me are so loud.  I lean closer to my guide trying to hear his soft whisper.  It sounds so sweet and peaceful.  Is he singing? I cannot tell.  I lean in even closer.  I feel some fear to lean in because I don’t know him well, but I am so drawn to him and so curious to hear what he whispers. I can’t tell exactly what he is saying, but just the sound of his voice relaxes my entire being.  Peace overcomes me.  I know in the depths of my heart that he loves me, though I know not why.  I know in the depths of my being I can trust him, though I know not why. His whispered words seem like a love song.  His voice deep but beautiful. I long to hear. My heart leaps and aches all at the same time. I close my eyes to listen. Who is he singing to?  Is it for me?  I can’t help but hope it is for me. 

It is.  I hear my name in it. 

I can’t believe it.  He is singing a love song about me.

ABOUT. ME.

Does he even know me? 

Do I know Him?

I feel like I do.  Like we have met before.  I don’t know why but it is just that feeling of safety when I am with him.  It feels so true, so real, like I have felt this before.  I love being in his presence.  I feel so completely safe and loved here.

This story is mine.  Not in the physical sense, but very much in my heart and in my mind. 

This is how it is when I walk with my Lord.

This is the Lord God that I know. 

When I spend time with Him, with God, just him and me in the fields behind my house, this is exactly how I feel.  Does the world around me change?  No.  The world is the same.  But when I am with Him, I feel different inside.  My perspective changes. I feel loved and cared for in a way that doesn’t make logical sense in my mind…. but that is so completely real.

This is the God I know.  This is the God who wants to know you too, to walk with you in the dark of the world, holding your hand. He isn't afraid of the dark. He has been on this path before you. He can lead you, guide you, and keep you safe. He wants you to know how loved you are.  How safe and loved he will make you feel each and every day. Grab His hand. Walk with him. Listen to the whispers. He is telling you how much he loves you, you just have to lean in a little closer to him to hear it.